Sideline Conduct For Parents
THINK MATH
Most of us have an easier time being math parents than we do being sports parents. We don’t stand over our children as they’re doing their homework, hollering at them to round to the highest decimal or carry their zero. We trust that they’ll be able to figure things out on their own, and if they can’t, they’ll get the help they need from their teachers or by asking us.What a lot of sports parents seem to forget is that young athletes also need the same space to figure things out on their own. They need to learn how to think and make decisions during game situations, which isn’t easy to do when your parent (or someone else’s parent) is shouting out directions.
The reality is that if your child could score a goal or stop a defender, he would. In most cases, telling your child to move faster to the ball is like telling him to be taller. Effort isn’t the only critical factor in sports, or in math. Some children will never be high-level athletes no matter how hard they try, which is by no means a tragedy. The world doesn’t necessarily need more gymnastics, softball, or soccer stars. It needs more young people who are willing to try and make our world a better place.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF IN THE STANDS
One of my children’s soccer coaches met with the parents before the season and said that the only thing he wants us to be shouting out to his players during the games was, “Go, Wolves!” He didn’t even want us to say “nice pass,” since he wasn’t confident that all of us knew what qualified as a nice pass. His point was that he didn’t want the sidelines to get too crowded with self-appointed coaches. He wanted us to just be parents, preferably quiet parents.
A lot of parents get caught up in being spectators and seem to forget they are at a youth sporting event. They yell and scream as if they are at a Red Wings hockey game, cheering for their favorite professional athletes. Needless to say, it can be an intoxicating experience to watch out children competing successfully in their sports, but for their sake, and for the sake of their teammates, we need to keep perspective. We need to remind ourselves that there aren’t really any do-or-die games, that life will go on pretty much the same no matter how tough the loss.
As a parent, you should never forget that you are at your children’s sporting events to support them; they aren’t there to perform for you. The last thing your kids need when they are on the field is to hear you advertising all your frustrations, both with them and with yourself. If you are ever in doubt what to say in the stands, you can always follow the simple adage: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.