“Second-Goal” Parenting^TM Method #2: Empowering Conversations With Your Children

Conversations are the glue between people, the essential element in a strong relationship. Many parents fall into the trap of thinking that in a conversation with their children, it is their job to talk and their children’s job to listen. Actually, it is both parents’ and children’s jobs to listen and talk in a conversation.

It is important that parents proactively seek conversations about the Little League experience with their players. Here are some suggestions for how to engage your child in a conversation about sports.

1. Establish Your Goal—A Conversation Among Equals: Conversation occurs between equals. Prepare yourself for conversations with your children by remembering baseball and softball is their thing, not yours. Support your children and let them know you’re on their side. Your goal in conversations is not to give advice on becoming a better player, but conversing about their Little League experiences.
2. Adopt a Tell-Me-More Attitude: Adopt the attitude that you want your children to say more ("I really want to hear what you have to say"), and then listen to them -- even if you don't agree and don’t like what you hear. Think of these conversations as an Olympic event with judges. A conversation that rates a 9 or a 10 is one in which the children talk more and the parents listen more.

3. Use Open-Ended Questions: Some questions lend themselves to one-word responses. "How was school today?" "Fine." To get your children to talk at length, ask questions that elicit longer, more thoughtful responses.

o "What was the most enjoyable part of today's practice?"
o "What worked well in your game?"
o "What didn't turn out so well?"
o "What did you learn that can help you in the future?"
o "What do you want to work on before the next game?"

4. Also ask about life-lesson and character issues: "Any thoughts on what you learned in today’s game that might apply to other parts of your life?" Even if you saw the whole game, get your children’s perspectives.

5. Show You Are Listening: Make it obvious that you are paying attention through nonverbal communication, such eye contact and nodding, and verbal "listening noises" ("uh-huh," "hmmm," "interesting," etc.).

6. Let Your Child Set the Terms: Right after a game, when emotions may be riding high, consider waiting until your children show they are ready to talk, instead of forcing conversation. Boys may take longer than girls to show their readiness. If your children prefer briefer discussions, occasionally defer to their wishes. If they feel every conversation is going to be a long one, they’ll likely try to avoid them. Be comfortable with some silence. Stick with it and your children will open up.

7. Connect through activity: Sometimes the best way to spark conversation is through an activity your children enjoy. Board games or puzzles allow children the mental or emotional space to volunteer their ideas about the last ballgame. This especially is true for boys, who often resist a direct adult-style of conversation.

8. Enjoy: The most important reason why you should listen to your children with a tell-me-more attitude: Because they will want to talk to you, and as they (and you) grow older, you will find there is no greater gift than enjoying conversations with your children.
These approaches help ensure that parents and children share common values and expectations for what they want from the Little League experience. In turn, that means players are more likely to maintain their enthusiasm for baseball and softball and perform better on the field. Of course, parents and children alike benefit from generally strengthening their relationships.

This information is brought to you by Positive Coaching Alliance. To learn more, please visit www.positivecoach.org

Safety
While studies show that Little League Baseball and Softball is safe, it is important that you are aware of the risks that may occur both on and off the field.   Little League Baseball and Softball, along with Musco Lighting and AIG Insurance, have produced an in-depth league safety program called "A Safety Awareness Program," or "ASAP."  For more information on the ASAP program, click here.

Injury Prevention

• Make sure that all team equipment has been inspected by a Little League official to ensure that it is functioning properly.
• Make sure that children do not climb on fences surrounding the playing fields.
• Check playing fields before games and practices for holes, large rocks or sticks, and anything else that may cause interference for players.
• Make sure that players warm up and stretch before practices and games.
• Make sure that your child drinks plenty of fluids not only while playing, but also throughout the day before practices and games.
• Treat minor injuries with RICE - Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation.
• Post warning signs in foul ball areas.
• Enforce bike helmet laws if children are riding to/from playing facilities.
• Be sure that you have enough seatbelts for everyone in the vehicle when you are transporting players.
• Watch for signs of heat exhaustion when playing in extreme heat.
• Schedule practices before noon or in the evening to avoid the hottest hours of the day.
• Schedule multiple drink breaks during practices and games.

Inclement Weather
Be aware of threatening weather. Practices and games should be stopped immediately at the first sign of lightning and shelter should be sought immediately.

Your child's coach should contact you via phone regarding the postponement or cancellation of games. Occasionally, the umpire is required to call a game prior to its completion. When this occurs, your child's coach will inform you about make-up dates.

Should you encounter a tornado, seek shelter in a nearby permanent building. If not available, head for a low spot such as a ditch or ravine and cover your head. Do not seek shelter in automobiles or attempt to outrun tornadoes in your vehicle.

Stranger Danger
Teach children the dangers of talking to and accepting anything from strangers. This includes someone who may offer to play "catch" with them or to give them a ride home.

Tell children to report any stranger who approaches them. Make sure that at least one adult remains until all children have been picked up from practices and games.

Give your child a code word to use when you have someone else pick him/her up. This way your child will know not to go with a stranger who does not know your code word.

Do not put the names of players on uniforms or openly on equipment. This will prevent strangers from being able to convince children that they know them.

Cleaning Your Uniform
Most Little League uniforms are made of cotton and polyester. To remove stains caused by grass or dirt, it is important to wash your uniform as soon as possible. Gently rubbing a mix of cool water and a small amount of liquid or powdered detergent directly onto the stained area before washing will help prevent the stain from setting in.